Having a shitty morning today, doodling for entertainment. (Please ignore cake recipe and how fucking crap my drawing is ;) lol).

I am tired. Of having to argue the case. Of being questioned by everyone for every time a dude has pushed instead of backing off at a rejection, doubled down and made a scene.

Because the worst ones are the people who should know better... 'You were asking for it,' whether he just got gropey or a whole lot nastier it doesn't matter. I am tired. So welcome to hell.




A/N: particularly relevant now because I heard a rape whistle go off somewhere down the end of my street at 5am and I couldn't find her, can only hope it stopped because she* got to safety. (*female, I'm assuming bc I don't know any guys with rape whistles).

Shorty and the flock have come around for lunch, cat tried to pounce at them unsuccessfully.

Since Trump was elected and britain decided to slit its own throat to leave something that it was pretty lucky to join like that to begin with... I spend half my time considering suicide, a quarter on how stuff could knit back together and a quarter on the best ways to destroy humanity (so far I'm on a tweaked virus so it only infects humans and is too highly contagious to be avoided anywhere on the planet... I'll think of a way to kill anyone on the ISS later.. cue hysterical laughter).

Dumb thing is bc I've spent so much time on carefully breaking myself lately (otherwise known as therapy, uh without a therapist) I've been finding how my cracks sit together, rekindling the love of a blank page filling with spider-writing and the feel of hands thickening under gloves as sawdust fills the room.

There's a process I usually go through in therapy (bc having an external source of insight and support can avoid some of the more extreme reactions like crying yourself asleep, then awake, then asleep again for days at a time). It starts with a contraction, a focusing in on my core and issues, followed by the patterns around these (past and predictable future) then a process of reflection and evaluation. An expansion - a look at how these issues are displayed in the world (I cannot tell you in words how happy I am about R.Moore not getting that election) and this is usually where I collapse in a heap and have to start again because the world has some pretty fucked up views. I've talked about revenge and idealised-sadism within society (punish!), I've talked about poverty and capitalism (though mostly in Means so I'll stick that up sometime), how many many people seem to be misalligned and.. all the things that make me crazy because the only next logical step after finding that my views conflict with the observable society I'm in is to try to make a peace between these or (if that's not possible) try to change as many minds as I can (debate the issue, always accepting the potential that I'm wrong [within reason, evolution is a theory but a damn good one] and therefore debating openly).

I guess that's just it, I need to keep talking to people.

TLDR

Look i'm not that smart, above average. Like many people who see some more than others i find flaws in society and i'm just smart enough to know how much of an idiot i am and how little i can influence things. the thing i often forget is that intelligence brings means as well as the issues. meditation's been hard for a while, i'm really quite fucked up. but life gives cues if you're watching for them. te breed of intelligence i have gives me the observation aptitude to spot motion (a little) before it becomes evident... ah who knows.. "Zaphod's just this guy, you know.."

watcing trevor noah and ta nehisi coates talk about trump is kinda ilarious and really.. i tink we've ad tat conversation.. 'but there's a shift happening across america, trump's pushing this shit into the open' .. 'hmm, yeah or we're all set for a world war... just saying.'

ty tds


big shout out to Rebel Riot who just completed a uk tour and are fucking lovely people!

Food Not Bombs has also expanded into..
                                   Books Not Bombs and both are well worth giving to if you can!!

hello

tat key isn't working still, hope it's translateable.

i ave a project in hand tat I'm not talking about ere bc it'll be a fucking miracle if it goes anywhere... and could be fucking amazing.

cats and rats are well, life is painful but worth it*. for Halloween I'm hosting a movie night, wit classics suc as Te Great Pumpkin.

*my grandmother a little wile ago told me a story about her sister, who had metal plates strapped to her legs making it possible to move under her own power, these were immensely painful and later in life she was constrained to a wheelchair, as a young woman (long before i was born) she would travel london on buses and smile at everyone, talk to anyone because she could get to her job and live her life, however much it hurt to do so. It inspired te kind of stubborn perseverance that I'd almost forgotten I had.

at some point i'll be back to set the world to right... but meanwhile, i'm busy ;)

Haha! Stiches in my face, they say I look like a pirate!

 About to go get stabbed by a load of needles....

professionals with needles...

...this is a strange sensation.













"Bye sheeps! Thanks for waking me!" :P haha

            Quietly


So here I sit in this patch of wilderness.
Chased away by the storm,
           calling quietly for the revolution
           (& like a cowardly suicide risk
                        not following through).

This world.
Humans like to understand,
except time,
like to know where we stand,
won't look around.

Dawn breaks and our minds concider
'this is a day, just like yester. and tomorrow'
We take time to happen and time for granted.

This world.
Our world.
Only love and so patient with us.

Don't know what I'm doing here.. be warned this is about to be free flowing nonsense..

..this is completely incidental and about nothing in particular..