When you've fucked up, you know it. There's a little creeping voice in the back of your mind saying "hey,wasn't that a thing you were supposed to be.. you know.. doing?" and you look back to find that while you weren't paying attention it's too late to shift gears: whatever was gonna happen, is happening.

I've fucked up.

It doesn't matter how or why, point is I did. And unless I take this as a learning opportunity something like this is going to happen again. History repeats, unless you dump a tree in the road.