Been a busy bee.. some dancing involved ;)

Merry Christmas!

 [42nd thing since regular transmission]

I sometimes wonder is every piece of fiction written has simply been trying to describe our dreams to one another  :)

Eve Ramble!
(click below!)

People don't like change, what they forget or don't realise is that we're all time-travellers. [I existed last week and do now, has the world turned?] We can't stop time, can't stop change.

Favourite line of the week: "'Racism can't withstand contact', sexism doesn't do too well under it either.."

When you're an asshole: it's not even that people don't want to help, it literally doesn't occur to do the little things that usually give people the boost to do better for themselves.

Oh before I go, a little UK news: this Investigatory Powers Act is fucked up, particularly when seen in conjunction with these new porn laws... oh boy.. what are these sly fuckers up to now?

And in case that depresses you, here's a snippet of the wonderful Obama-Noah interview from Monday's Daily Show. I would thoroughly recommend watching the whole conversation. Obama's fucking cool, there's a deep quiet ocean in his eyes, you know? If I could spend a day inside any living mind it would probably be Obama's.. I am such a nerd ..

Also, I wrote this crack [adverture-comedy] short over at double business about rats.

[Added Ramble: The human mind is a bit like a computer (that's actually reversed, computers were styled loosely upon the way we deal with data). We only have so much processing power.

A thing I think people often don't realise about mental health issues is that it's like running 5 windows of Chrome, each with 20+ tabs minimised and half forgotten, leeching all the memory until there's not nearly as much left to actually process daily life or a conversation that we're having. Same can be said for pain, though that's a more immediate draw typically.]

Christmas things and people wanting me to travel all over the country. In case I'm not around for a few days, have a great time people and speak to you soon ;)

Fuck yeah, Daily Show :)

Did you know that pigeons and sparrows smile - a lot right now because I've just given them breakfast ;)

For a little substance : check this out. It's an article by George Yancy on, uh, well, philosophy and state of things.. "To be “philosophically adjusted” is to belie what I see as one major aim of philosophy — to speak to the multiple ways in which we suffer, to be a voice through which suffering might speak and be heard, and to offer a gift to my students that will leave them maladjusted and profoundly unhappy with the world as it is. Bringing them to that state is what I call doing “high stakes philosophy.” It is a form of practising philosophy that refuses to ignore the horrible realities of people who suffer and that rejects ideal theory, which functions to obfuscate such realities. It is a form of philosophizing that refuses to be seduced by what Friedrich Nietzsche called 'conceptual mummies.' Nietzsche notes that for many philosophers, “nothing actual has escaped from their hands alive.”

I have an issue. That I don't want to talk about, because I don't want it to be taken in the wrong light. But if I'm self-censoring then there's a tension there that could probably do with mentioning.

I'm white and grew up in.. just, the most multi cultural city (excluding London). I'm pretty fucking colour-blind, it's like being deaf* for skin colour. I just don't notice it, never have. As a teen my closest friend read the same kind of fantasy novels as me and had a spark in her eye when she spoke, was politically left and morally enviable, so I'd not really spotted she wasn't white (parents moved to the UK from Northern India before she was born, she's still one of the most british people I know - from her orthodox christianity to a Make and Mend mentality). My friend and I, walking home from school, we got a bunch of shit in the street one day. After growling and moving us both away, I asked what the hell they were* on about. She was so embarrassed that she didn't want to tell me they were a bunch of racist assholes. And I didn't notice, so I couldn't stand up for her when it counted.
              I could give more examples, but... honestly I really don't notice, I try to make a mental note now because I'm aware that it can often be an issue outside of my little pocket of the universe, but I fail sometimes. *Point to note: I'm quite deaf too.  Also, if any one would like to argue any of the shit that I say - please do - I feel perpetually ill informed and always love a good debate. [Add: I'm aware that it's only through privilege that I can be ill informed and blind, and that's a pretty fucked up state of play. The only experience I have that might cross-over, is of being homeless; I can't even describe the faces that people make. Once or twice I could see, even as people mentally-capitulated to some need to look down on, in their eyes they didn't like that they were seeing me as less than.. but they let themselves. Want to be able to describe how that changed me, as a person, the full array of mental sliders on the mix-board of me that went askew and it's taken years to put back into a stable place; awake and aware (mostly, trying). But I've been writing these for years now, and I can't even describe the faces of people just like me just not looking, just letting their eyes skitter away and their mind forget. But there are more important things to say first....].

There are many people out there, who claim to be colour-blind in order to further their point. I don't think that should be condoned. But as you argue with them, please be aware that at least one of us actually see in a kind of blindness and would much rather not.. have the need for noticing, because it doesn't make the slightest bit of difference what colour the meat-suit is, if there's no racism.    [Add:    ..    ..   so can we all just stop that now, please? Act like grown-ups? Please??]

Been loosely tracking this Standing Rock phenomenon that's happening, they made me cry this morning. What a powerful thing to do, for themselves individually and symbolically for each group involved. Particularly got me misty "the Creator"



Uh, also, I'm aware that linking facebook is.. uh questionable sources but honestly, this is where my info's coming from so.. Thank you Tina Malia.

[Add: The Legal Case for Blocking the Dakota Access Pipeline, Robinson Meyer - published September,  pretty much out of date for new news, the legalities are interesting though].

I'd like to say something profound about the 13TH
uh, but I've got nothing more than watch it                                                it is kinda profound in and of itself.

Headaches, bah!!

Dancing!

Three Point project

They say it's a curse to live in interesting times... but I'm all mad and frustrated with the world so... These are fucking interesting years to be alive as a human. 25 years of the internet, and the world has flared with such imagination, contempt and a whole array of things I never imagined could really exist. A little while ago I started writing (and couldn't stop) about how it's changed everything:



Oct 27, 00:41

There's something happening within society; being a hermit I'm probably the last person that should speak on this but I have a perspective, so here it is. I'm not talking about one electoral race, one vote, I'm talking about a motion in the social or group-consciousness..

Kids are smarter. As ever, I may well be wrong, if you reading this have opinions please share them! But kids, they just are, right? We can all agree that children have a higher capacity towards intellect than their adult peers (family, friends etc) this is evolution. They come into a world that partially understands more science than I've ever had a chance to catch up on. My niece and nephew were using computer tablets aged something-like 8 and 5, the 5yr old (is now a pre-teen) and is so fucking smart it scares me how much he understands of my behaviour without ever speaking on it.

I love the internet because it allows me to give a smile to people who I will never meet (which since life is ultimately purposeless, I choose to make genuine smiling my purpose most days). The internet can breed fear and anti-social'ism because you don't really see anyone else online.. even when you see videos of people, it's abstracted; I mean, we all know that celebrities are not their television personalities in real life [Add: it's a natural defence mechanism of the mind] (..when Madonna/Rihanna/whoever/Andrea Corr has to take the oozing bin out because there's no one else around to do it, which you know has happened since they've been famous). Uh, what I'm trying to say is.. there's no call to do the 'right thing' or be good to people online except in conscience and hind/insight for how others will perceive it if witnessed. Which largely is what governs people anyway.. but, uh, there's no physical manifestation of that, necessarily. And therefore, people get away with shit that... maybe even they themselves would never do in person (I know models who've had rape threats, from modelling, seriously, for like magazine modelling). The internet can fool you into feeling alone with your thoughts, without realising that for every little bit of backlash that you don't have to deal with, there are others out there doing it in your stead and five times as hard because the blow often comes blindside to the poor sap at the other end of the witticism).  The internet gives everyone a glimpse into what it is when your empathy decides that it doesn't really give a fuck either (otherwise known as ASPD)....... [[it exercises empathy, or strains it.]]

I honestly think that it's no coincidence that the generations of people raised with easy internet access seem to be having a problem with some of the more .static. aspects of wider society now that they / we^ are old enough to say, "I can pick a limp noodle or a closeted pig-fucker for PM..? Oh, fuck you." [Carefully forgetting that Teresa May exists.. if I ignore it hard enough she'll go away]. Or maybe saying, "So, I can tacitly agree that the DNC's pre-selection was okay, because she's PotUS now.. or vote for Trump and see the world burn...? Oh, fuck you." [Add: this was written before Trump's....... *sigh*] Or maybe something else like that, that I haven't been paying attention to because I'm a hermit. My point is, people notice.

And I think a lot of the problem is that we're being pulled every way at once and (though this has always been the case we used to be able to just turn the fucking wireless off, now the wifi makes my phone dance a jig for a minute upon connection) pretty much the only people trying to lead us are.. doing it for a gain or motive other than... [oh, how do you say...] 'universal betterment'? Now, I think we can all agree that 'the news' is an ever-changing ouroboros. It seems to be that most people I speak to are sick of the emotively suggestive news, as well as the shiny flashy news. People don't want gore and violence or palpitating propogandised 'feel how i say you should' ¬ shit. [Add: Again, written before journalists started having existential crises on-screen].

The news is supposed to watch, display and comment upon all the, uh, nasty people that we haven't been able to deal with yet.. and you know... the natural disasters that need to draw attention, the discussions that need to be had or are being had outside law courts, universities, etc, other places where people frequently use words containing more syllables than I can process before coffee of a morning - basically all of that stuff that most of us are too busy living to want to pay attention to... They're building a new rail system so taxes are going up by 0.003% this month.. I don't want to know that but when the paycheck comes in and I'm saying "..taking how much?!" that little voice in the back of my head says, fixing the trains and that pothole-alley on main street, and my lil nephew's local A&E (because that kid is gonna break a leg falling out of a tree one of these days). That's what the news is for.. us to be lazy to. So that the careful parts of our minds just have the data to hand. [Has anyone not seen Inside Out yet? Watch it!!] [Add: not that one should necessarily be lazy and accept fact without some kind of a checking system, but you know some days you just don't have the energy, it's for those days that I say this.]

And, uh, I mean. People are more likely more afraid of something they've never experienced - I've never been mugged but sometimes terrifiedly imagine knife-wielding monsters in the bushes; my sister's been mugged twice, first time the guy did have a knife and took her cash and phone, the second time she laughed at the tweens and they reportedly looked very embarrassed before sliding away). The internet provides a level playing field for everyone hooked in. Data. Data. All you can eat buffet of data. Now in the UK I've noticed that there's been a hard but short (8yrs or so) uptick in the number of politicians, among others, wishing that some of that data could be removed. [NB: I can understand governments wanting some data (related to security etc) to remain secure, I'm not questioning the need for that, I'm talking flip-flops, prejudice and pompous nonsense]. It strikes me that half of 'the west' is trying to legalise weed and chanting Happiness for Everyone and the other half is saying "hey look at those guys with their weed over there, isn't the world a better place now lets grab their houses while they're high."

And the kids understand that.. because they're smarter than us adults in this amazing mutating evolutionary way, they're what we wish we could be, or need to be.

People I know to be insightful, in moments of awareness and vulnerable openness have been saying "something's coming, something's changing." Maybe this is the same thing as 'youth has no respect for its elders' which was reportedly said in Aristotle's time. And then again, group-psychology is still psychology and in that there are often cresting rises; things happen in waves. Maybe we are coming towards a time of renewed-enlightenment or chaos.

[My opinion of religion: if it's giving you hope rather than constraining you, go with faith and do good in the world. If it's constraining you, don't give it the head-space.] I think for a very long time people were largely [seemingly] religious, and held to a set of morals. And if you don't conform to those you are amoral. Thanks to this history we live by a standard of good and evil that is not applicable in reality. Because reality is more complicated than that. Things can be evil and can be good, but that doesn't actually affect or effect the things themselves unless they have emotion. Hence, everyone will agree that taking life is evil, but probably not bat an eyelid at killing a wasp for its presence. (My fascination of bugs and the Mirror Test aside), We as society don't abhor something without near unanimous consent, and even then with a 'tradition' it takes weight to change. It has been historically very hard to tell what people believe, the internet changed that. (I am firmly of the opinion that pollsters forget that actually everyone hates taking surveys and with the amount going around in and election marathon...yikes). Yet we allow causal cruelty? Society is changing because the weight of awareness shifts over time. People are more open now than they were even four years ago (look back at John Stewart's rants about homophobia in 2012). And as such there are some (people who 'walk in the shadow of love') who will take advantage of that, often because they have a need that's otherwise not being fulfilled, sometimes because.. well.. that abyss is pretty. And the fucking kids understand that, on a fundamental level better than you and I do. They haven't experienced the things necessarily that will take them to the abyss yet, but they'll handle it better because they're better equipped.

In all honesty: I've been writing this beast of a blog for two weeks or more now.. and I don't really know what I'm trying to say here. Maybe its simple and we as a society need to wake the fuck up and start working together rather than trying to eat each other. Maybe I can help that by getting off my hermitised ass and talking to people more. Maybe what I'm trying to say is we're all fucking mad (life sends us it, in little packets of experience) and does that matter if we're mostly getting on and not trying to kill each other? Maybe I'll wake one day to find the abyss is prettier from the inside than looking across that shiny surface, or maybe that button will never be pushed. We make the mother fucking world around us. I'm a bit sick of being told that's not true when it literally is true... look at me typing here and you reading it there by moving the mouse (or whatever your preference of motion).

If Fact A + Fact B gives you an 'ephemeral concept' or an arbitrary-seeming Fact D then you've probably just missed C's influence on A or B thus changing the expected result into something that doesn't make sense.

I guess I'm saying... as a person be aware.





^Weirdly (for me), I straddle this border. Remember fondly the world without and would see blood cover the walls to protect my internet now(!!)

¬You know what fuck Chris Crispy.. the guy's a sick fuck, I have no idea how he gets to say some of the shit that he says (not to mention what he's done) and not get fucking sacked.. but oh, Chris Crispy, you [gah! there's no word for.. Latin: camur] motherfucker.. Only an asshole resorts to fucking with people like this.

Didn't start this blog to comment on TV, I do enough of that to confuse people anyway.. but I've seen something, really like it and can't quite stop myself from wanting to talk about it a lot.

Since Trump as president-elect, there's been a change in tone of the Daily Show - positive and necessary. There's some beautiful work being done here, particularly in the interviews. Tomi Lahren, very interesting character, think I can see why Noah wanted to talk to her.. and that interview was... fucking amazing. Crowd control, dude ..that was masterful.

Out of context quote:
 "The human soul is not a rubber ball. It's vulnerable, impermanent but stronger than you know." Death (Supernatural s6,11) that character always makes me chuckle.


Add: fucking awesome interview on the Daily Show last night - what a voice and that smile is infectious.

Just seen a bunch of things about Standing Rock, thanksgiving and #NotThePast. I like it, more power to your elbows people ;)

Ramble:

Guilting people is a shitty thing to do, we all know this, and evidence shows that even on a mass scale with all of the best intentions it can work to harm [X / cause / relationship, whatever] in the long run. There is a fine line between holding to account and guilting. A very fine line. I watch too many cop shows and when talking to people talk to too many people on the front lines of their various fields (same as before, EMTs, mental health nurses, people working day in and out with the illiterate sectors of a relatively segregated society; by finance mostly, though race and class always somehow get muddled in too).

If you expect a person to able to recover you have to treat them with a certain amount of respect that they can, whatever, pick themselves up, right? If you treat that same person with scorn and tell them how they've failed in the past, they're significantly more likely to fail again - almost regardless of how prepared they were...* If we expect society (at a wider perspective) or any individual aspect (person within) that society to be able to do better then maybe we've got be able to accept people as whole, warts and all, even in abstract.

I once asked some friends if they'd ever tried to imagine everyone.. "you know," i said naively, "the whole human race as individuals with ideas and hobbies and wives and broken legs.. all the people." They asked why anyone would do that. I asked why they wouldn't want to? 'These,' I figured, 'are some very smart people. Between the network mind-hub of the computer scientist, the quiet eyes in the corner [a panther coiled, in that jumper], to the human version of facebook-and-reddit, one of them would have wondered at what the human race is in totality, surely??' We smiled and conversation moved on to.. South Park or something. The brain is a muscle, exercise it.

*Oh shit, I get it... Abusive streak #3: relies upon isolating a 'subject' in order to analyse their behaviour patterns inrespose to specific low level on-going cues... in order to abstract their own responses enough to be able to encompass the rationale that they haven't been able to accept [or if behaving in static array, haven't decided] for their own behavioural responses [unconscious responses] to the same low level [unaviodable in wider society] cues [=advertising, beggars/street music, coworkers-nagging etc; all the things you don't want to be able to draw you when you don't have the energy or patience to deny-access to subconscious process, i.e. ignore]. ... Wow. I hope that made sense, because I ain't proofing it right now.

According to worldhunger.org in the last 25 years the overall percentage of the world malnourished has gone down by nearly 8% that's a fuck-ton of people. Well done humans! ;p Sometimes I think we have a chance. Othertimes I think we're doomed to self-anniahlation. But rarely, sometimes, I can actually see a glimpse of a [largely peaceful] viable future for the human race.

Noticed a couple of hits from Spain today - can anyone recommend a book/video/etc for Spanish grammar? Been trying to learn Spanish by reading subtitles and listening to dual-audio video with english subs... slow process.

Communication is key. I've said this before...won't wear you out saying again but...
This bullshit is fucking unbelievable, how can anyone pretend they didn't know fracking was harmful to the environment.. and that would have knock on effects, like house pricing.. I know that and I've only heard of this thing a handful of times until the last year or so (when everyone started shouting about it). I mean - duh, science, people - it's never as complicated if you actually look at the data. And I mean yeah, obviously people who were literally covering up a report to push something through first should probably be arrested or fined or something (I like the Last Man on Earth method of stocks until everyone's happy for you to come out, but that might push us back towards Shakespearean style torture and death, so I'm willing to pass on stocks if you guys are..)... but lets not pretend it wasn't obviously a bad idea from the get-go.

"Oh no. This is a society and we have rules."

*sigh* this shit.

so there's a drabble over here

"You don't have to do life like everyone else to enjoy it. Just because you do it differently doesn't mean it's wrong."  - credit to my favourite human.

...please come back soon Daily Show, we miss you guys already...

Summer flashback from Ben on Vimeo

My curiosity over the last few weeks has been swaying towards Loop Quantum Gravity (links below). Found this article with a visual representation and thought 'why have they put neurons on a.. oh...an example of micro-macro?' So I made:

  

Background: Interconnected Neurons in a culture dish

A fluorescence microscope reveals the largely random network, that neurons form in a culture dish. An international team of scientists investigated [for MPI] whether nerve cells in the brain wire randomly. © Manuel Schottdorf, MPI for Dynamics and Self-Organization.

Foreground: Loop Quantum Gravity visual representation

In the loop models, the basic structure of space-time turns out to be discrete. In such discrete space-times, there are smallest values for volumes and areas that are not divisible any farther – just as one cannot build a structure smaller than the smallest block in a children's lego set. The fabric of space is called a spin network with lines and nodes, as pictured [above].

Loop Links:

Wiki's page.. uh, actually that's about as far as I've gotten yet, uh...

Here's a little collection of 101 videos for Quantum Mechanics and Physics:

Oxford, J.J. Binney If you can stand the hissing audio this guy is very common sense.

IIT Madras, Prof V.Balakrishnan 2008 This guy is amazing (for the curious layman; just roll with some of the maths, he'll explain in different terms as you go) he's funny too.. my personal favourite  /gush

Richard Feynman 1983

Add: the article which introduced me to the concept.

Another version of civil war. This time with a very graphic video, be warned.

"When American scholar Garda Lerner pioneered the study of women's history in the 1980s, her research provided both evidence and an explanation for how the patriarchy originally began to form. It was not until the dawn of agriculture, when humans transitioned from being hunter gatherers to becoming herders and farmers, in the fourth to second millennium BC, that notions of personal property and ownership also created the need to control reproduction." The Underground Girls of Kabul, Jenny Nordberg.

Cascade changes.....

[AN: soil, fabric, idea]

I just deleted that ... oops

Nobody knows what the fuck they're doing, even when they really think they do. People work on a scale of perception, response and awareness.

There's something that I've been struggling with this week. So in an effort to share it, analyse it; here we go.

"...use your words, your human words." I don't communicate easily with humans, I find animals and non-verbal communication easier. Perhaps I'm autistic, or indulging my autistic traits lately. Humans say so much and mean so little (I mean.. other animals appear to do that too..). Reflecting: My grandmother (who I used to stay with in the summers) could be rather hard at times. She was an advocate of speaking only when you had something to say, and drilled it into me young. As such I don't talk. Not enough to make others comfortable, in that un-conscious way. I'm also, from what others tell me, pretty good at cold reading people so a lot of the time I don't need people to speak to be able to interpret a common or proto-typical scenario. [Baby and parents on a tram: only-days-old baby is crying, father is calming the baby (has learnt how as quickly as a mother typically would) but looks panicked (tight eyes) and he can't take his eyes off the mother who glassily stares at nothing, flinches when she looks at / hears the baby = Postnatal depression, hold the fucking door for them and smile, they need any help.] I can't seem to ignore it except when I have a bad headache or I'm so totally stoned that time stops having any meaning.
And yet. I live with someone who suffers. Anxiety. Sounds simple and non-invasive, as these things go, can be crippling. I can't stop noticing strangers; a lady passing by in the street today, smiled at passerby, and when I smiled at her, beamed like she didn't want to contain whatever joys had put her in that good mood = spreading the love. And yet. My therapist (gets me a lot but rarely understands me, if that makes sense) tried for professionalism today for a fraction of a second before giving the honest answer (laughter), because I'd clearly read it in the lower right 4/5th of his right eye. It's not hard to read people. And yet. I can't tell when the person I live with is getting anxious sometimes, she's so damn good at hiding and I don't pay attention at the right moments. Maybe I'm hypersensitive when outside... that's a thing that could explain the heightened responses (diagnosed some form of PTSD). Or maybe I'm pissed about whatever, some thing, the stack of washing up, and some part of me ignores the cues sometimes - if that's the case I've got work.



"The truth hurts." But so does reality and the bonus is once you get used to the truth you can work on it. If you're coping with lies then you still have a reality to face.



And now some weird for you: We recently (Nov 14th) experienced the closest moon (to the earth - in perigee) in a fairly long fucking time. Thanks to a wonderful uncle who likes to work these things out, I can tell you that it was 0.018% larger than the previous 'supermoon' of 2011. I like to think of myself as scientifically sceptical, but for years I've been hearing anecdotal stories from nurses, police and EMTs that the full moon is usually the busiest night of the month.. in a pub, great business - from these people, I'd rather hear they had a quiet night. I scoffed and forgot about it until heard more stories than would be statistically reasonable, so I ignored it as an aspect of social-hallucination (mass-hysteria playing a long game)... then I started reading the occasional scientific paper saying essentially 'not enough research has been done for anything conclusive, and there's been papers showing a negative for this but we still did research which suggests a relationship between lunar cycles and [X - rats, mice, beach amphipods, insects of wide varieties etc.] biology and/or behaviour' ...and I'm becoming persuaded that there's something to this (something to research at least) when that amazing uncle sends an email saying the fullest moon since 1948 is about to happen (Nov 14th) and I look around at the world as it exists right now, with the things we've done in recent months.... Should they have delayed the presidential election vote a week? I feel a bit crazy suggesting it. But...
This one... if you take nothing from this entire post but read this abstract then I thank you for getting the important bit. Published in December 2015 (credit to M. Bevinton), describes "..measurements of electric field of up to 16V/m compared with the usual <1V/m [...] Similar intensities [...e.g. electromagnetic storms...] are known to affect animals and 10-20% of the human population." Now I probably don't know enough about the earth's magnetotail to explain but.. there's a field of electromagnetic energy around the earth (animals/humans also have a small field, I believe), it forms a tail in (I think) the solar winds and motion of the planet. Imagine the shape of water falling off a ball in a pool, kinda like that (probably not at all mathematically, really, but kinda looks like that). [If anyone knows of mistakes here or understands the science, please comment!] And the full moon disrupts it, basically.
So if there's a real testable thing....... can the scientists get started on studying that please? Also, should they have delayed that vote by a week?? It's not like the moon's gonna turn you into a werewolf.. but if there's a (+50year high) increased electric field (from the normal low field that your body's used to slogging through, it kinda explains the extra car crashes and people being, uh, distracted in some undefinable way, headaches; "sensations of a 'presence'") is that the best time to be voting on president et al. for the next half-decade?

Anyway..

If you've gotten to the end here, thanks for reading my first ramble to be posted in full. Now go forth and enjoy the world!

Dance the day away...!

Your actions cause reactions (this keyboard is noisy this late, etc.). A friend was drunk and dancing at an event last night, someone later described a bubble of movement that seemed to flow around her, almost everyone in the vicinity hit the beat...

You literally make the world around you over time... whether you mean to or want to, or not. Realising that drove me a little bit mad for a while.



P.s. Daily Show makes sanity seem easy.... :P

Today sucks tiny trump dicks

No matter what. You've got to pick your ass up (only you can) and start moving again because nothing happens but by motion.

Reality's where it's at, face it ;)

This life is going to leave its scars on you. The trick is being proud of how they change you and who you are with them.

Ever come across this one?


A little shout out to the Daily Show, thank you, Phil Colins is my Attenborough :)


Polymath  <3  ;)

People can twist in and in and in on themselves, until they're a hurricane in a bottle.

"Once it’s out in the open, one can discuss the pros and cons of those arguments within a specific context.” Richard Dawid

Out of context quoting!

Edit to Add:You know, this whole article is fucking cool and if you have any interest in theoretical physics, or the method of scientific exploration of theoretical everything.. read this.

gah, bastard fucking periods.. no wonder i felt to crap yesterday... :(
Here's something that I've just found fascinating.. so you must know by now that I love brains (human, spider, rat, pigeon, et al.) the way they tick gets my interest everyday. Though if you look into the history of neuroscience, it basically hasn't been around all that long.. really only since scans of the live and active brain were a viable option. Google does this word-use thing... I forgot what a ligand* does (molecule, attaches to larger molecules) and this popped up. It appears to coincide roughly with the age (and scale) of papers that I look back at and go "hey, no, that's not real science", because 6 people do not a test-group make. Anyway, tickled me, pretty picture to add to the synesthetic (ETA: damn, autocorrecting...) pattern o' the nature of the universe.
*If you're interested: the recent paper (observational study on ~ calcium and vitamin D influence on the menstrual cycle and, in particular, ectopic pregnancy - really interesting stuff today), that led indirectly to the paper (1997, RXR and RAR interaction with ligands, uh, essentially, I think, I haven't read this one fully yet, but the lil abstract helped me understand something about method of gene transcription). Well, should say I haven't read either of them fully because I, sadly, am not personally an institution with access to full-text medical sciences. Just find it interesting and can't afford the stupid subscriptions, so I read many abstracts. I dream of a world in which commercialism has not and cannot touch the 'pure' sciences; where information is given as freely as speech in a role-play game.

Stressed, fucking nasty headache and pretty depressed today... So instead I'm dancing to this:



Have a great day people, don't let the shit get you down ;)

Haha, nerd heaven. I'm reading a paper that's on a topic I hope will be an actual piece later, for now - I love this paragraph:

"...Bucklen and Zajac (2009) concluded, “The greatest problem for parolees was managing themselves in a prosocial manner while facing demands from their environment” (p. 239).
"Communication can be a critically important element of prosocial behavior. A prime example, as described in the General Aggression Model (C. A. Anderson & Bushman, 2002), is the use of verbal aggression, a catalyst to physical assault among violent criminals (Infante & Rancer, 1996; Toch, 1969). The use of verbal aggression is significantly correlated with the extent of resorting to physical assault (C. M. Anderson & Rancer, 2007; Infante & Wigley, 1986), felony offenses (Spillane-Grieco, 2000), and physical aggression in correctional centers (Cornell, Peterson, & Richards, 1999; Mejovšek, Buðanovac, & Šućur, 2000). A number of researchers have found that a deficiency in verbal skills is a major cause of verbal aggression (e.g., Bandura, 1973; Infante, Chandler, & Rudd, 1989; Roberto, 1999; Toch, 1969). It follows that teaching communication skills is an important intervention aimed at reducing aggression and violence in society."

Love it because it's stating the obvious and look at all those references in there saying, 'Come on. I know some people don't want to admit this but you've known for a long time now, it's totally true'.. :D
Can you hit comic timing in text??

Nonviolent Communication and Minfulness Training in Prison
(Alejandra Suarez, Dug Y. Lee, Christopher Rowe, Alex Anthony Gomez, Elise Murowchick, Patricia L. Linn)

Awakening to the reality of a situation doesn't automatically (as much as it would be nice) make the situation better. You have to be strategic at first and work yourself into a better shape, or place.

Building furniture and things today. Here's my mildly-creepy soundtrack.




This one's just the epic all-time-favourite ^^

'Member the 2000s? 'Member Storm?!

Storm from KerShoot on Vimeo.

Also, Member berries are just downright creepy! ;)

History Map

C.1931 from interesting as fuck

"The skillmaster, at his elevated level, can be disciplined only by himself. This is why the position must never be political, nor granted as an honour, but only bestowed to the most learned." Robin Hobb, Fool's Assassin (p134).
How twisted up is this world? D.Trump craves to be President but wouldn't actually want the job if given it. We call it politics, but in fact, the job is governance. To ask the dumb question: Why is it political?

Words...

...strung together in a pattern that makes me happy. It doesn't really matter if he managed the objectivity he was after, I love the way he phrases the intention:

"If a personal point may be noted, the fact that the writer of these pages is himself a Catholic and in political sympathy strongly attached to the political theory of the Revolution, should not be hidden from the reader. Such personal conditions [...]; but he believes that no personal and therefore exaggerated note has been allowed to intrude upon his description of what is a definite piece of objective history lying in the field of record rather than in that of opinion." H. Belloc on The French Revolution, January 1911.

Call it the dao, flow or (on a personal level) awakening, enlightenment... it's all part and parcel of the same thing. Seeing reality around you, life from a bigger perspective, and allowing your own/internal horizons to grow in response.

Enjoy!

Have some fanfiction because I'm high :)

Dialogue Drabble: Albus and Severus talking over tea late one evening in Harry Potter's 6th year.

A fire crackled somewhere behind them, spoken into the silence....

"In life there are moments when you look at your own actions with a sharp awareness of your frailties and flaws; seeing what you could have done better had you known, had you reacted fast enough or with a different tact."

Severus watched the old man's eyes, seeing glassy blues that didn't look at him but back at all those 'mistakes'. "Albus..."

"Don't interrupt an old man's wisdom, lad. I might not have time left to think these thoughts again." He huffed a sigh. "In those moments, Severus, my only advise is remember the present ticks ever on and you only ever need look back as long as it might help you forward."

Closing his lightly parted lips the younger man could think of nothing to say.

"Sherbert lemon?"

Pain is the blinkers of life, for me. It stops me from looking around in wonder, at the people, at the way that things are spreading and becoming so much more open over the last decade. There's a lot more respect overall for most people, from the simplistic (homophobia, racism etc) through to the everyday, casual cruelties seem to fly under people's radars less often. I'm sat in a room, watching crows fly, wishing that I don't want to fall over every time I get up (because it would be so much easier to just fall down again) and knowing that I'm going to keep getting up.. just to fucking spite myself. Because you make things better by active intent.



Maybe I'm screaming into the wind. perhaps this will never change. But sometimes you gotta strive for the impossible.

People don't have a 'place' in life; where you are is a position, where you're at, what you're good at. Nothing is static, life moves in motion.

Schadenfreude. A powerful thing when used at the right moment,

Everyone's made up of a scale of psychological mixers, experience and DNA combining to ineffable personality. As a species we have a tendency to put labels on things in order to communicate them (i.e. rock, chartreuse, rain-cycle) naturally one of the first things to be created in this wonderful world are 'Good' and 'Bad'. These labels apply to just about anything. Including and not limited to species, personality traits, rain-cycles. We, as a species, apply them to people all the fucking time. I do it, it's ingrained. And I think it's a fundamental flaw sort of like the word 'literally', we see them upside-down accidentally all the time.

In science and mathematics there are no emotions, because they don't come into play in the real world; they're perceived. 'Bad' and 'Good' don't and can't have a physical presence. What they can do is change perception and therefore influence action.

I consider aspects of my personality to be 'Bad'. I'm a sadist (well, sado-masochist, but lets not get into that here). This does not mean that I have or would ever intentionally hurt someone for my own pleasure (without some kinda kinky shit going on first), but still parts of me beats my sadistic side for being 'Bad'. To the best of my knowledge, most people are pretty good at (often well-practised at) beating themselves up for their own personality traits.

When taken from the perspective of many.. this seems wasteful and inefficient.

Honest moment: My sadism leaks out sometimes, I've found manners of containing and mitigating that. Schadenfreude being a good one. Jada Pinkett Smith, "allow my shadow to play in a safe way.."

Stating the Obvious at 5am

It strikes me that the main goal in meditation is to catch up on the things that you were too busy to think about at the time. E.g. I've just watched two episodes of the Daily Show so I've imbibed a lot of data - if I remember even a portion of that then I'll have a wide range of topics, some of which have interlaying properties or factors, to ponder before I sleep tonight.

It also seems evident from that, since pondering a topic before discussing at requisite length provides a higher yeid of viable or capable ideas; that discussion of every topic that I remember meditating upon would be an ideal goal. With that in mind, if I remember even a portion of the data, think of a few in-obvious things about it and their overlayed patterns, discuss them with another (or multiple) minds who have also come up with some interesting patterns or features, those things combining, with both/all involved possibly passing on the mutual conclusions of the previous conversation to yet more minds, and so on... Conversation being the key method of motion to action. As humans, we need to talk but more importantly we must communicate more. We need to hold each other up, starting with the weakest, as much for the sake of ourselves as each them/us.

I'm still addicted to the Daily Show. So good to see it really picking up again, some fantastic writing. Michelle Wolf is hilarious! She seems almost shy on camera, really no need to be she's amazing!

The prospect of living a life fulfilled. Surely it's a matter of perspective and action?

7 July 14 - Sometimes it's good to remind yourself of past successes, right?

Transcendence is glory; or so they tell you. But, if it could be said that there is relief in vengeance, there's no truth to speech. These things combine to my predicament.
My surroundings however leave little room for further speculation on the ephemeral merits of hindsight, instead requiring focus for more physical pursuits.

When you've fucked up, you know it. There's a little creeping voice in the back of your mind saying "hey,wasn't that a thing you were supposed to be.. you know.. doing?" and you look back to find that while you weren't paying attention it's too late to shift gears: whatever was gonna happen, is happening.

I've fucked up.

It doesn't matter how or why, point is I did. And unless I take this as a learning opportunity something like this is going to happen again. History repeats, unless you dump a tree in the road.

Happy Day women. Isn't it wonderful that we have a day for celebrating the miles we've come and the miles to go.

Today turning all deep dark desires and channelling through panic out to rooted determination. Because the world doesn't need this asshole to think he can get away with his bullshit any more than the last idiot that looked at me and thought he could get one over, just like Trump and way his cult are seen as fucking idiots by the rest of society (global, always mean global unless specified).

I made a couple of bad turns in my time and the days are cruel (hahaha) in memory. No one fucks with my mind like I do, that's why I see half their bullshit (one of the group's tried it on myself; abstract personification and dissociation are easier and harder, fucking quantum dude(!)). The point is no one is perfect and everyone fucks up, the joy of life (dao) is in owning up to your crap and realising that once you take responsibility people start treating you like a person again, and are sometimes reasonably fucking angry. Just own it and you persevere.

You can't feel whole without being all of yourself, good and bad.