Really missed the Daily Show :)

 Hello.

Oh it's been a little while since I've posted here. Hmm, well I guess it's been a little while since I posted anything anywhere.

This world is so full of distractions and stuff happening that I forget sometimes that I am a person who others like to hear from too. It's easily possible to subsume yourself in what you're doing to the point of loss of self awareness.

So what's been happening over in this neck of the woods? Well, I got in touch with some estranged family (funny that.. story for later). My docs gave me meds (a dozen a month, rather than a couple) and I'm starting to get on top of the symptoms of my disability. Haven't fallen over and seized in.. oh a couple of days! My brain is so fried that I spent two days in a small bright room trying to work out if I should be alive or if the world and myself would be better with me gone. I starved for a while because I could only afford food for either myself or my pets, I chose the pets. I meditated. I dreamed. I thought of JRL and activists that I've known. I listened with a pit in my stomach to people tell me they'd spent hundreds of pounds on gadgets while I starved, I bit my tongue. I received love and hugs from people I care about. I shared a smile with as many people as I met, real smiles of wonder and joy that they are people who are alive in the world. I learnt of another new grown aspect in myself - a sense of wonder and creation, in writing, in action and in life. I made five new holes in my hands in a day. I looked at open wounds and saw flesh, bleeding, knitting and healing through time and change. Oh and I caught up on the late nights, Amber is amazing*, Sam is a **messy wonderful and I'd really missed the Daily Show - Noah's eyes shine from deep within, it's also pretty amazing.

*Amber: and can make the worst things to hear somehow consciously okay and understood, even when it's still really not an okay thing.

** Sam: in the best ways, weird is wonderful and people who overcome anxiety are in my eyes as impressive as people who overcome their blindness by learning to use a cane.

So that's been my week.

Hope any readers out there have had as interesting a week. Good luck people.