Want to say something profound here. Something that fixes the world. shores up all the self esteem issues of the individuals we all are, make it impossible to fear like that guy did. So that everyone understands.

I don't know if there are words enough.

You are an (almost) infinitesimally small part of a universe that is so vast and complex that you are simultaneously the most important thing in your universe and virtually non-existent otherwise.

You can be beaten and abused and you will always be some shade of you. Broken, lost, dementia to the nth degree, doesn't matter because you're always going to be you and there's nothing anyone can do about that. They can even manipulate and change your mind and you will come back given enough life.

You can be the guys who [blah*] and know that you are long forgiven because.. oh man, this life is too short for fear and anger and hate and revenge. And dude it only took me fifteen years to get there. You are just as small as we all are. Bacteria clinging to the edge of the world and looking up. We each have just as much** space to burst ourselves through. We all want a better world... So for fuck's sake please. Humans, please.

I don't know what I can do.

I don't know how I can be more than just myself and pull this whole fucking, feasting, impatient, inopportune species of ours out of the (Jesus!) the fucking second dark ages but fucking hell I'll keep trying.


   oh this video only works for america? [well hey on a different note entirely.. have you guys seen this vpn? it's free and you can use it as an ad-block.............or something]     [*blah edited for this trigger warning: ..can be the guys who raped me and know that you are long forgiven].  **edited bad wording, [internal word-map] makes different meanings of context.


Because we're worth it ;) and so is this floating turtle and whatever, people just need to get the fuck over themselves. We are... None of us are perfect. We all fuck shit up. Sometimes we fuck it up for other people.

,,,,

....

Holy shit this could be read the wrong way. That guy when I mentioned earlier was the cop, scared and fucking up, we're all that guy. And he needed to realise that the world isn't as scary as he thought it was right then, get the fuck over himself and take what life brings. we all need to do that a bit...* if what I see outside the window is anything to go by (fuck knows, I need to get over myself all the fucking time).

There is a process of grief. It involves some anger, anger is a process in-and-of itself (fuels, pushes, motivates action). It's so easy to wallow in emotion, to let it be more than [cognitive displays] and it can be incredibly hard to let it go, to shove it over the top of the hill and watch it fall away.

And [oh god] look I'm one person probably talking shit here... it's not like my life has been the worst, sure it's not all roses but.... look at this world. Really look at where we are... how can we go outside and not smile at strangers.. because... we're all in this together. ALL OF US.



    [edit to addL *holy shit I can't believe that was aquitted.. oh fuck... argghhhhhh.......]



I still don't know what I can do. You know that? I'm 30 and I've only just begun to feel like I can really do things around this place with a good idea that I'm doing it right. It scares the shit out of me that people make more little humans before they even know themselves.. my sister did that (I don't think she regrets it and her kids sure don't - they're amazing, seriously cool people..) I don't think she was prepared at first to grow up like that, to have to shove her own perspective aside for mini-humans - she did it because she's a good mum and an awesome person.. (but.. it's not comfortable at [teenage]yrs)

Someone asked me recently 'it's not the rate of crimes [against women] going up, right? it's the amount that are being reported..?' which I confirmed [I believe this is the case]... Hypothesising a social cascade in motion. This someone talks about intersectionality often.

"She still has the presence of mind to be deferential."

Because it always comes back to perspective, empathy, keeping your head.