Woke

From the moment I heard the term I fell in love. It's intuitive and obscured in the best possible ways (fill in the blanks or discuss what it means, either way works awesomely). Words have defined uses, yet are only as good as they are used.

Being woke (just in case) is being aware - specifically of the racial tensions and history within and around the U.S. Now I'm hesitant to take a word out of context (looses meaning, and in this case could be offensive, given the tensions involved) but the word is so good, you can apply it to so many contexts: homophobia, sexism, our own personal psychological flaws.. it's [im]practically a universal term. And okay, [I'm a word nerd] do you know how relatively few and far between they are?

Fuck! You could even translate it into other languages and still convey near the sane thing.

It's not slang, it's visceral. And so necessary right now.

I am tired. Of having to argue the case. Of being questioned by everyone for every time a dude has pushed instead of backing off at a rejection, doubled down and made a scene.

Because the worst ones are the people who should know better... 'You were asking for it,' whether he just got gropey or a whole lot nastier it doesn't matter. I am tired. So welcome to hell.




A/N: particularly relevant now because I heard a rape whistle go off somewhere down the end of my street at 5am and I couldn't find her, can only hope it stopped because she* got to safety. (*female, I'm assuming bc I don't know any guys with rape whistles).

Nothing is actually simple. I'd not quite thought of it this way before, but it's true... Cell division is actually really complicated, 1+1 is a simple problem from which you can devise subtraction, multiplication and this whole beautiful system of numbers. Occam's Razor only says 'the simplest' bc nothing is actually simple.


We blanket ourselves in layers of civilisation and howl our agonies as animals.

I've talked about this before.. maybe even bored you, but I've just seen an example of this discussed and I'm furious.

Trevor Noah claims the bullies helped make him what he is. This is a fallacy. His life's experience has made him what he is and if those experiences had included the kind of healthy (supportive) pushing then it's quite possible he would be in the same place as roughly the same person. Experiencing shitty things does force people to consider things in a different way and since your life is largely swayed by your perspective on it this can lead to some major changes.


Did you know this is also something that two of my three paedophiles claimed they were doing for me... challenging me to be more.. because they'd raped me.

The idea that having had shit in your life makes you a better person is utterly absurd.

Shit happens in life and sometimes that cannot be avoided, sometimes.... the volcano erupts... but do people need others to beat them in order to toughen up? Absurd.

watcing trevor noah and ta nehisi coates talk about trump is kinda ilarious and really.. i tink we've ad tat conversation.. 'but there's a shift happening across america, trump's pushing this shit into the open' .. 'hmm, yeah or we're all set for a world war... just saying.'

ty tds


big shout out to Rebel Riot who just completed a uk tour and are fucking lovely people!

Food Not Bombs has also expanded into..
                                   Books Not Bombs and both are well worth giving to if you can!!

the beauty of politics is in time.
how ideals last and change, how the people in power failed on or rose to the situations througth time.

Psychological processes often work on a knowledge assimilation basis.

e.g. the unknown is scary and once the boundaries (or key points / intersections / parameters) are known it becomes a factored risk; since in essence everything from standing and walking across the room to eating food can be hazardous.
  If you can factor something into routines (without an imbalance) then it loses the weight (potential risk) of an unknown [factor/scenario] and therefore becomes psychologically undaunting (in a manner, nothing's magic really*).
  In my experience this is true for most psychological patterns. [Though watch yourselves for inverted-left down-spin, bc it behaves unusually (anecdotal!) when fed in this manner, sometimes rapidly leading to emotional numbness and ignorance of other hemispheres - or I've known some bitchy 4s!]

* I find the mathematical construct of the black box can be wonderfully useful in processing/meditation... just saying.

If you want something to happen, don't sit back and hope someone does it for you. Stick your neck out, get your hands dirty and fucking work at it until it's done.

Want to say something profound here. Something that fixes the world. shores up all the self esteem issues of the individuals we all are, make it impossible to fear like that guy did. So that everyone understands.

I don't know if there are words enough.

You are an (almost) infinitesimally small part of a universe that is so vast and complex that you are simultaneously the most important thing in your universe and virtually non-existent otherwise.

You can be beaten and abused and you will always be some shade of you. Broken, lost, dementia to the nth degree, doesn't matter because you're always going to be you and there's nothing anyone can do about that. They can even manipulate and change your mind and you will come back given enough life.

You can be the guys who [blah*] and know that you are long forgiven because.. oh man, this life is too short for fear and anger and hate and revenge. And dude it only took me fifteen years to get there. You are just as small as we all are. Bacteria clinging to the edge of the world and looking up. We each have just as much** space to burst ourselves through. We all want a better world... So for fuck's sake please. Humans, please.

I don't know what I can do.

I don't know how I can be more than just myself and pull this whole fucking, feasting, impatient, inopportune species of ours out of the (Jesus!) the fucking second dark ages but fucking hell I'll keep trying.


   oh this video only works for america? [well hey on a different note entirely.. have you guys seen this vpn? it's free and you can use it as an ad-block.............or something]     [*blah edited for this trigger warning: ..can be the guys who raped me and know that you are long forgiven].  **edited bad wording, [internal word-map] makes different meanings of context.


Because we're worth it ;) and so is this floating turtle and whatever, people just need to get the fuck over themselves. We are... None of us are perfect. We all fuck shit up. Sometimes we fuck it up for other people.

,,,,

....

Holy shit this could be read the wrong way. That guy when I mentioned earlier was the cop, scared and fucking up, we're all that guy. And he needed to realise that the world isn't as scary as he thought it was right then, get the fuck over himself and take what life brings. we all need to do that a bit...* if what I see outside the window is anything to go by (fuck knows, I need to get over myself all the fucking time).

There is a process of grief. It involves some anger, anger is a process in-and-of itself (fuels, pushes, motivates action). It's so easy to wallow in emotion, to let it be more than [cognitive displays] and it can be incredibly hard to let it go, to shove it over the top of the hill and watch it fall away.

And [oh god] look I'm one person probably talking shit here... it's not like my life has been the worst, sure it's not all roses but.... look at this world. Really look at where we are... how can we go outside and not smile at strangers.. because... we're all in this together. ALL OF US.



    [edit to addL *holy shit I can't believe that was aquitted.. oh fuck... argghhhhhh.......]



I still don't know what I can do. You know that? I'm 30 and I've only just begun to feel like I can really do things around this place with a good idea that I'm doing it right. It scares the shit out of me that people make more little humans before they even know themselves.. my sister did that (I don't think she regrets it and her kids sure don't - they're amazing, seriously cool people..) I don't think she was prepared at first to grow up like that, to have to shove her own perspective aside for mini-humans - she did it because she's a good mum and an awesome person.. (but.. it's not comfortable at [teenage]yrs)

Someone asked me recently 'it's not the rate of crimes [against women] going up, right? it's the amount that are being reported..?' which I confirmed [I believe this is the case]... Hypothesising a social cascade in motion. This someone talks about intersectionality often.

"She still has the presence of mind to be deferential."

Because it always comes back to perspective, empathy, keeping your head.

Probably said this before.. you can't change the past, the only thing that can happen is a perception change which influences the future. It's harder work than denial or wallowing.

Just had a strange and strained conversation with a drunk man. I believe he believes that only through suffering can one achieve enlightenment (either that or he was just trying to scare me or something). But (and it's too late to say it to the dude) it's all about perception. Reality is data and perception's our interpretation of it, get the interpretation skewed and the whole thing looks different.