Since Trump was elected and britain decided to slit its own throat to leave something that it was pretty lucky to join like that to begin with... I spend half my time considering suicide, a quarter on how stuff could knit back together and a quarter on the best ways to destroy humanity (so far I'm on a tweaked virus so it only infects humans and is too highly contagious to be avoided anywhere on the planet... I'll think of a way to kill anyone on the ISS later.. cue hysterical laughter).

Dumb thing is bc I've spent so much time on carefully breaking myself lately (otherwise known as therapy, uh without a therapist) I've been finding how my cracks sit together, rekindling the love of a blank page filling with spider-writing and the feel of hands thickening under gloves as sawdust fills the room.

There's a process I usually go through in therapy (bc having an external source of insight and support can avoid some of the more extreme reactions like crying yourself asleep, then awake, then asleep again for days at a time). It starts with a contraction, a focusing in on my core and issues, followed by the patterns around these (past and predictable future) then a process of reflection and evaluation. An expansion - a look at how these issues are displayed in the world (I cannot tell you in words how happy I am about R.Moore not getting that election) and this is usually where I collapse in a heap and have to start again because the world has some pretty fucked up views. I've talked about revenge and idealised-sadism within society (punish!), I've talked about poverty and capitalism (though mostly in Means so I'll stick that up sometime), how many many people seem to be misalligned and.. all the things that make me crazy because the only next logical step after finding that my views conflict with the observable society I'm in is to try to make a peace between these or (if that's not possible) try to change as many minds as I can (debate the issue, always accepting the potential that I'm wrong [within reason, evolution is a theory but a damn good one] and therefore debating openly).

I guess that's just it, I need to keep talking to people.