I am tired. Of having to argue the case. Of being questioned by everyone for every time a dude has pushed instead of backing off at a rejection, doubled down and made a scene.

Because the worst ones are the people who should know better... 'You were asking for it,' whether he just got gropey or a whole lot nastier it doesn't matter. I am tired. So welcome to hell.




A/N: particularly relevant now because I heard a rape whistle go off somewhere down the end of my street at 5am and I couldn't find her, can only hope it stopped because she* got to safety. (*female, I'm assuming bc I don't know any guys with rape whistles).

Shorty and the flock have come around for lunch, cat tried to pounce at them unsuccessfully.

Nothing is actually simple. I'd not quite thought of it this way before, but it's true... Cell division is actually really complicated, 1+1 is a simple problem from which you can devise subtraction, multiplication and this whole beautiful system of numbers. Occam's Razor only says 'the simplest' bc nothing is actually simple.


We blanket ourselves in layers of civilisation and howl our agonies as animals.

I've talked about this before.. maybe even bored you, but I've just seen an example of this discussed and I'm furious.

Trevor Noah claims the bullies helped make him what he is. This is a fallacy. His life's experience has made him what he is and if those experiences had included the kind of healthy (supportive) pushing then it's quite possible he would be in the same place as roughly the same person. Experiencing shitty things does force people to consider things in a different way and since your life is largely swayed by your perspective on it this can lead to some major changes.


Did you know this is also something that two of my three paedophiles claimed they were doing for me... challenging me to be more.. because they'd raped me.

The idea that having had shit in your life makes you a better person is utterly absurd.

Shit happens in life and sometimes that cannot be avoided, sometimes.... the volcano erupts... but do people need others to beat them in order to toughen up? Absurd.

Since Trump was elected and britain decided to slit its own throat to leave something that it was pretty lucky to join like that to begin with... I spend half my time considering suicide, a quarter on how stuff could knit back together and a quarter on the best ways to destroy humanity (so far I'm on a tweaked virus so it only infects humans and is too highly contagious to be avoided anywhere on the planet... I'll think of a way to kill anyone on the ISS later.. cue hysterical laughter).

Dumb thing is bc I've spent so much time on carefully breaking myself lately (otherwise known as therapy, uh without a therapist) I've been finding how my cracks sit together, rekindling the love of a blank page filling with spider-writing and the feel of hands thickening under gloves as sawdust fills the room.

There's a process I usually go through in therapy (bc having an external source of insight and support can avoid some of the more extreme reactions like crying yourself asleep, then awake, then asleep again for days at a time). It starts with a contraction, a focusing in on my core and issues, followed by the patterns around these (past and predictable future) then a process of reflection and evaluation. An expansion - a look at how these issues are displayed in the world (I cannot tell you in words how happy I am about R.Moore not getting that election) and this is usually where I collapse in a heap and have to start again because the world has some pretty fucked up views. I've talked about revenge and idealised-sadism within society (punish!), I've talked about poverty and capitalism (though mostly in Means so I'll stick that up sometime), how many many people seem to be misalligned and.. all the things that make me crazy because the only next logical step after finding that my views conflict with the observable society I'm in is to try to make a peace between these or (if that's not possible) try to change as many minds as I can (debate the issue, always accepting the potential that I'm wrong [within reason, evolution is a theory but a damn good one] and therefore debating openly).

I guess that's just it, I need to keep talking to people.

..in life I've found that there are patterns, of behaviour for example, so my rule of thumb is assume nothing about a person but allow that they're capable of both the best and worst of your imagination [edit: and plenty beyond it, in virtually any direction].

..research is fun. For UK people - did you know that the *Metro is owned by the Daily Mail? [Correction: they're both owned by Trinity, link below]. And I'm sure you know this.. there are relatively few people who own newspapers in the UK these days, Trinity Mirror being the largest (wiki) [umbrella corp]. They own the Daily Mail, several other big ones and well over a hundred local papers too.

*For non-UK people: the Metro is a terrifyingly shit free newspaper on every bus, train and tram in basically every city, published Monday through Friday. It's usually got at least a few typo's and spelling mistakes (uh i mean I do that all the time but.. this is a blog) and [basically] only talks about how crappy poor people are and crime, grittier the better it seems.

Shit, huh?

Did anyone not see Blunt Talk? These should give a good feel for it...



According to the internet it was boring.. maybe they didn't observe the guideline of the title enough.

Think I might have just seen something beautiful. Have a look ;)

Edit: Hahaha, oops, this was supposed to go to my beta...... ;)

Group by psycological pattern

Harry Potter (stick with me non nerds) influenced a generation of young minds, and swayed across the older generations' thought patterns too.

JK Rowling isn't the best writer in terms of poetry, plot device etc. I've heard many people discuss the level of enjoyment with a wondering. I've called it her [world building] and found that not quite significant enough words to descibe what I mean broadly enough; and therein lies the heart of the matter.

As a writer I am trying to describe [it happens in the overlays] through character and plot, my peculiar perspective of the (real) world. This is why I love novels and Tv in totally different ways - a novel is one (sometimes more) mind collating together a life of experience into a sifting tapestry that (if effective) will leave a reader mute [/passive] to their own environment and persective; viewing through the eyes of another into a shared imaginative world. Tv collects the minds and body language of many to display a collated world that a viewer can (in a similar manner) be absorbed by. [As discussed before – [CHECK THIS] neuroplasticity would imply that experience is encoded in neuronal patterns that with exercise become more stable and the more likely [path/pattern/chain] for [is it .electrons.] to slide down[/follow].. Given that language works on a basis of mutual experience and context (i.e. I know trees are usually green as does my friend in Australia, we know around autumn they turn yellow as the temperature drops, so if my friend asks about the weather 'leaves have turned' is a decent explination), the language used by a writer can tap into a lifetime of experience]. So if you can effect enough minds to a pattern that's comfortably welcomed and exercised* then a wave of motion in society is formed.

JK Rowling's books were just described to me as a 'modern classic' [prompting this piece]. We can probably all agree that the 7th book wandered (“every publised writer knows, every book is a failure to descibe what was imagined”) so if it's not the plot, characters are great.. but there's someting more - it's the world.

The four houses loosly tie together psychological behaviour/pattern groups; the world is defined by victorious characters that call 'the monster' what he is over leaving an unnamed evil, while accepting that truly awful things happen and can be survived, overcome; and integally, the characters display the kinds of bungling that happens because time doesn't stop for us.

With a world like that you can have characters display all manner of traits in a fresh light.

These are seven books and eight films that had a hand in making who we** are today.

*across the board (of people and experiance)

**me and mine, at least

A/N; some time if you're interested I'll tell the story of seeing the last film for the first time, alone and content with the sounds of the city of Sheffield as a backdrop.

For such dumb creatures humans come up with fucking creative stuff sometimes.

Note to self: q comp.

TLDR

Look i'm not that smart, above average. Like many people who see some more than others i find flaws in society and i'm just smart enough to know how much of an idiot i am and how little i can influence things. the thing i often forget is that intelligence brings means as well as the issues. meditation's been hard for a while, i'm really quite fucked up. but life gives cues if you're watching for them. te breed of intelligence i have gives me the observation aptitude to spot motion (a little) before it becomes evident... ah who knows.. "Zaphod's just this guy, you know.."

watcing trevor noah and ta nehisi coates talk about trump is kinda ilarious and really.. i tink we've ad tat conversation.. 'but there's a shift happening across america, trump's pushing this shit into the open' .. 'hmm, yeah or we're all set for a world war... just saying.'

ty tds


big shout out to Rebel Riot who just completed a uk tour and are fucking lovely people!

Food Not Bombs has also expanded into..
                                   Books Not Bombs and both are well worth giving to if you can!!

Writing sci fi today, best bit of the story so far:

Ahead of her the universe burns it's stars, gapes it's voids and lays secrets bare.

               *gulp*

also this is anoter awesome series, similar lines as te last post but a different perspective.

the beauty of politics is in time.
how ideals last and change, how the people in power failed on or rose to the situations througth time.

hello

tat key isn't working still, hope it's translateable.

i ave a project in hand tat I'm not talking about ere bc it'll be a fucking miracle if it goes anywhere... and could be fucking amazing.

cats and rats are well, life is painful but worth it*. for Halloween I'm hosting a movie night, wit classics suc as Te Great Pumpkin.

*my grandmother a little wile ago told me a story about her sister, who had metal plates strapped to her legs making it possible to move under her own power, these were immensely painful and later in life she was constrained to a wheelchair, as a young woman (long before i was born) she would travel london on buses and smile at everyone, talk to anyone because she could get to her job and live her life, however much it hurt to do so. It inspired te kind of stubborn perseverance that I'd almost forgotten I had.

at some point i'll be back to set the world to right... but meanwhile, i'm busy ;)

arrrrrggg day 4nonstop
melting outta my ears
dcos gave new meds...waiting
aaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggggggggggggg tis sucks

 Just wanted to say thanks to the daily show for drawing attention to Myanmar... this shit is unreal and it's been brewing for a while.


Also the H key on my keyboard died wen a bowl of cereal went over it.... missing Hs will happen. This is cool. Hope people are well.

life is wild and amazing

Testing for echo...