I have an issue. That I don't want to talk about, because I don't want it to be taken in the wrong light. But if I'm self-censoring then there's a tension there that could probably do with mentioning.

I'm white and grew up in.. just, the most multi cultural city (excluding London). I'm pretty fucking colour-blind, it's like being deaf* for skin colour. I just don't notice it, never have. As a teen my closest friend read the same kind of fantasy novels as me and had a spark in her eye when she spoke, was politically left and morally enviable, so I'd not really spotted she wasn't white (parents moved to the UK from Northern India before she was born, she's still one of the most british people I know - from her orthodox christianity to a Make and Mend mentality). My friend and I, walking home from school, we got a bunch of shit in the street one day. After growling and moving us both away, I asked what the hell they were* on about. She was so embarrassed that she didn't want to tell me they were a bunch of racist assholes. And I didn't notice, so I couldn't stand up for her when it counted.
              I could give more examples, but... honestly I really don't notice, I try to make a mental note now because I'm aware that it can often be an issue outside of my little pocket of the universe, but I fail sometimes. *Point to note: I'm quite deaf too.  Also, if any one would like to argue any of the shit that I say - please do - I feel perpetually ill informed and always love a good debate. [Add: I'm aware that it's only through privilege that I can be ill informed and blind, and that's a pretty fucked up state of play. The only experience I have that might cross-over, is of being homeless; I can't even describe the faces that people make. Once or twice I could see, even as people mentally-capitulated to some need to look down on, in their eyes they didn't like that they were seeing me as less than.. but they let themselves. Want to be able to describe how that changed me, as a person, the full array of mental sliders on the mix-board of me that went askew and it's taken years to put back into a stable place; awake and aware (mostly, trying). But I've been writing these for years now, and I can't even describe the faces of people just like me just not looking, just letting their eyes skitter away and their mind forget. But there are more important things to say first....].

There are many people out there, who claim to be colour-blind in order to further their point. I don't think that should be condoned. But as you argue with them, please be aware that at least one of us actually see in a kind of blindness and would much rather not.. have the need for noticing, because it doesn't make the slightest bit of difference what colour the meat-suit is, if there's no racism.    [Add:    ..    ..   so can we all just stop that now, please? Act like grown-ups? Please??]