There's something that I've been struggling with this week. So in an effort to share it, analyse it; here we go.

"...use your words, your human words." I don't communicate easily with humans, I find animals and non-verbal communication easier. Perhaps I'm autistic, or indulging my autistic traits lately. Humans say so much and mean so little (I mean.. other animals appear to do that too..). Reflecting: My grandmother (who I used to stay with in the summers) could be rather hard at times. She was an advocate of speaking only when you had something to say, and drilled it into me young. As such I don't talk. Not enough to make others comfortable, in that un-conscious way. I'm also, from what others tell me, pretty good at cold reading people so a lot of the time I don't need people to speak to be able to interpret a common or proto-typical scenario. [Baby and parents on a tram: only-days-old baby is crying, father is calming the baby (has learnt how as quickly as a mother typically would) but looks panicked (tight eyes) and he can't take his eyes off the mother who glassily stares at nothing, flinches when she looks at / hears the baby = Postnatal depression, hold the fucking door for them and smile, they need any help.] I can't seem to ignore it except when I have a bad headache or I'm so totally stoned that time stops having any meaning.
And yet. I live with someone who suffers. Anxiety. Sounds simple and non-invasive, as these things go, can be crippling. I can't stop noticing strangers; a lady passing by in the street today, smiled at passerby, and when I smiled at her, beamed like she didn't want to contain whatever joys had put her in that good mood = spreading the love. And yet. My therapist (gets me a lot but rarely understands me, if that makes sense) tried for professionalism today for a fraction of a second before giving the honest answer (laughter), because I'd clearly read it in the lower right 4/5th of his right eye. It's not hard to read people. And yet. I can't tell when the person I live with is getting anxious sometimes, she's so damn good at hiding and I don't pay attention at the right moments. Maybe I'm hypersensitive when outside... that's a thing that could explain the heightened responses (diagnosed some form of PTSD). Or maybe I'm pissed about whatever, some thing, the stack of washing up, and some part of me ignores the cues sometimes - if that's the case I've got work.



"The truth hurts." But so does reality and the bonus is once you get used to the truth you can work on it. If you're coping with lies then you still have a reality to face.



And now some weird for you: We recently (Nov 14th) experienced the closest moon (to the earth - in perigee) in a fairly long fucking time. Thanks to a wonderful uncle who likes to work these things out, I can tell you that it was 0.018% larger than the previous 'supermoon' of 2011. I like to think of myself as scientifically sceptical, but for years I've been hearing anecdotal stories from nurses, police and EMTs that the full moon is usually the busiest night of the month.. in a pub, great business - from these people, I'd rather hear they had a quiet night. I scoffed and forgot about it until heard more stories than would be statistically reasonable, so I ignored it as an aspect of social-hallucination (mass-hysteria playing a long game)... then I started reading the occasional scientific paper saying essentially 'not enough research has been done for anything conclusive, and there's been papers showing a negative for this but we still did research which suggests a relationship between lunar cycles and [X - rats, mice, beach amphipods, insects of wide varieties etc.] biology and/or behaviour' ...and I'm becoming persuaded that there's something to this (something to research at least) when that amazing uncle sends an email saying the fullest moon since 1948 is about to happen (Nov 14th) and I look around at the world as it exists right now, with the things we've done in recent months.... Should they have delayed the presidential election vote a week? I feel a bit crazy suggesting it. But...
This one... if you take nothing from this entire post but read this abstract then I thank you for getting the important bit. Published in December 2015 (credit to M. Bevinton), describes "..measurements of electric field of up to 16V/m compared with the usual <1V/m [...] Similar intensities [...e.g. electromagnetic storms...] are known to affect animals and 10-20% of the human population." Now I probably don't know enough about the earth's magnetotail to explain but.. there's a field of electromagnetic energy around the earth (animals/humans also have a small field, I believe), it forms a tail in (I think) the solar winds and motion of the planet. Imagine the shape of water falling off a ball in a pool, kinda like that (probably not at all mathematically, really, but kinda looks like that). [If anyone knows of mistakes here or understands the science, please comment!] And the full moon disrupts it, basically.
So if there's a real testable thing....... can the scientists get started on studying that please? Also, should they have delayed that vote by a week?? It's not like the moon's gonna turn you into a werewolf.. but if there's a (+50year high) increased electric field (from the normal low field that your body's used to slogging through, it kinda explains the extra car crashes and people being, uh, distracted in some undefinable way, headaches; "sensations of a 'presence'") is that the best time to be voting on president et al. for the next half-decade?

Anyway..

If you've gotten to the end here, thanks for reading my first ramble to be posted in full. Now go forth and enjoy the world!